About the book
Born 1931 in England, and growing up during the blitz, from an early age the author questioned the legitimacy of war, of religion, even who she was and just what, on earth, living could achieve. It took a lifetime to find even a few answers, but surprisingly the deepest answers came while trying to continue a normal life when also coping with a devastating chronic illness.
After numerous infections treated with anti-biotics a tentative diagnosis was offered, Allergic to the 20th Century; then as all allergy tests came back negative changed to Food and Chemical Sensitivity and Immune Dysfunction. Finally, it was named Chronic Fatigue Syndrome which morphed into Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, ME/CFS.
ME/CFS is an orphan illness, still denied as having a physical cause by much of the medical profession, it was relegated to psychiatry, the cause being wrong thinking and physical deconditioning. It is all in your mind, do a bit more each day, you will get over it. No!
The illness came to dominate every aspect of life. Debilitating reactions to multiple foods and everyday chemicals brought massive restrictions in energy and lifestyle; unable to work as a registered nurse, go to church, choir, swimming, sailing; looking after family and shopping was a nightmare.
Frequently unable to sleep and tormented by urticaria, at times a different reality fleetingly took over, an alternative consciousness of peace and brilliant light brought periods of temporary relief. Its brevity made her long for more, thus started a search for answers, physical and spiritual. Trained as a nurse and having lived or worked on five continents inevitably the search was wide; medical and metaphysical. West and East. It seemed like the challenges of a prolonged Shamanistic journey: Karma, Kundalini, reincarnation—what? When? Where? Here.
This memoir is about that search for meaning and the conclusions reached. Dear M.E., it might never have happened without you.